Learning To Love My Body: The Good. The Bad And The Ugly.

Dear,
 This old picture of me in a bikini.
You are capable of loving your body,

Its time to start believing it. 

You may not be six foot tall or have an eight pack or only eat kale for breakfast lunch and dinner but its okay, Ive got your back.

......

Growing up, I was never scared to get my kit off.

 Now that may sound a bit of an eyeopener but it is true.
As a performer,  I was surrounded by people who wouldn't think twice about changing infront of each other and would never shy away from getting the old bits and bobs out and we would be proud to show them off!

These pictures are from when I was probably the happiest with my body..... I have never been stick thin or had super hot pins but I was confident in my own skin.
 So what changed.....

Ever since the good old hormones kicked in and my body was changing, I have always been subconscious about my legs. They were always very muscular and they were always referred to by others as 'tree trunks'. No matter how much I would try laugh it off,  but It would still eat away at me.

 My legs have always been a part of my body that I have always wanted to hide. 

When it comes to style picks, my favourite friend has aways been the trusty maxi dress. For years, I have been tucking my body into a maxi- pretending that I actually made an effort when all I did was to hide the part of my body that I hated the most. Don't get me wrong, that wasn't the only reason, but it did make me feel a lot more confident with my body hidden.

It became increasingly apparent that I hated the way my body looked.
My instant reaction was...

 'Well....If I could just loose a couple of stone then I would be so much happier'.

That is bullshit....
don't ever listen to that little demon in your head.
If I've thought this once, Ive thought this a thousand times over.  If weight is the only thing that is getting you down, then yes, absolutely, find a healthy way to get fit but to think that by being thin, this will make you somehow a happier person... I am not convinced.. even though I have tried to believe over the years that it was true. Its not.

Why do we criticise ourselves so much? Why do we pressure ourselves in getting that perfect 'Summer Body'

Do you think the lady sat with her boobies out on the lounge chair cares? Or the man in the tight pair of Speedos over at the bar drinking Stella Artois? 

I dont think so. 

I began to realise that we don't seem to notice other peoples body hangups because are so caught up with our own insecurities. I may not look like a complete supermodel in a bikini but who cares?

Its all about acceptance!

Accepting that as someone who is 5ft 2 and a half.....Im never going to look like Gigi Hadid or Kendall Jenner and I may never be able to wear a pair of jeans, that I won't need to roll the legs up a few times over but thats the beauty of it... We are are different for a reason.

 If we were all the same that would be boring and we need to start realising it.
We are all special!
So from now on I'm setting myself and everyone reading this right now a challenge.... Its time to start loving ourselves and treating our bodies with respect.

To kick off the challenge, Mention one thing you like about your body everyday. Whether it's just a mental note to yourself or write it down somewhere so you that you can look back at it and it make you smile.

You are capable of loving your body! You just have to start believing it.

Thanks to Kim Kardashian.....my big arse is now a fashion statement,  So today I'm embracing my wobbly bits and I'm proud of my curves......first note written down.

'Does my bum look big in this' is a question I am no longer afraid of.  Cheers Kim.

So for the future...

Do I continue to search for longsleevedwideleglegturtleneckjumpsuit when looking online for a night out outfit or do I buckle myself in and jump about the Self love, get your body out train

 ( I don't quite mean your lady bits) but a little more skin wouldn't hurt.

I know which train I'd like to be on!

Stay Golden!

Love

Paige 

xxx

Living with Anxiety

Hello everyone,  It has been a few months since I have posted on my blog and today's post is a little different as to my usual entries. Its a wee bit personal and its taken quite a bit of balls to talk about a certain issue that to be honest has taken over my whole life over the past few months. I like to keep this blog very positive and upbeat however I believe that in sharing my own personal experiences, it can be a platform into hopefully helping others to discuss problems they may have...And lets face it we all like sharing the love!

 Anxiety is an issue that many suffer with and thankfully it is being talked about more openly thanks to social media and other social platforms and celebrities, however to those like me who struggle with this problem you can still feel totally isolated from the world. 

Ever since I can remember, I have always been a worrier, or a warrior as I like to think ;) whether its been studying for exams to being on time, attending interviews to worrying about personal appearance. I didn't realise I had a problem until the start of this year when suddenly everyday jobs became obstacles and over time I started having panic attacks. As a bubbly and outgoing person, It was very hard to tell my family and friends that I was suffering as to the naked eye, I seemed absolutely fine. 

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of unease, nervousness or a strong sense of worry that something is about to happen. You can experience different levels of Anxiety such as:

Sweating

Muscular Tension

Feeling Breathless

Often going to the toilet

Tingling in your hands and feet

Increased Heart Rate

Panic Attacks 

Feeling very emotional

Pains in your chest

Wanting to escape

The hardest part of dealing with Anxiety is coming to terms with it and discussing your feelings with others, ie: going to visit your GP, talking to others in the same position, getting support from friends and family.

 Some people have no idea what triggers their anxiety. However, I know exactly how I began to suffer with travel anxiety. Last December, exactly one week after the Paris terrorist attack, London was on high alert as the rest of the world was. I was travelling back to London and got caught up in a Bomb Scare, I heard the explosion and  had no idea it was a controlled explosion. Everyone around me was confused and I was alone and very frightened. At that time, I had no idea just how much this would affect me going forward. To some, it may seem ridiculous but for me, I haven't been able to travel in and out of London ever since. Sometimes I even struggle to leave the house. It feels as though my life as been on hold and I feel like all my ambitions have come to a halt. 

It has taken me eight months to admit to myself that I have a problem and now I'm going to deal with it. 

Anxiety cant be seen but it can definitely be heard...If we let people in to listen.

I'm at the beginning of my journey, I would like to think that I would be able to help others at the same time as helping myself and would encourage anyone who has ever been in my position or who is currently suffering from Anxiety to contact me via comment box below or by email at browneyedgirlblog@yahoo.co.uk. 

'Be Kind, Work Hard, Stay Humble' 

Paige xxx